He's taking him everywhere. As a spirit, knowledge, feeling. As a reason: to everything.





I want you to soil me. Once I come back, as nature, fresh and proud, I want you to soil me, become my anchor to the ground.
To be mine and give me everything. To underdtand, at last, to bask in me and to drag me down to where you are and soil me.





I... I love life, I think. I can't be sure, not now. But it's worth the chance. And I'll find a way to reach my conclusion.





I have feelings in silence, and only silence. In this wide world no one still present knows.





🎵The beautiful skies are not for us
not for me
not for what I've become ...

To be perfectly honest, he was "enamored". Not in the traditional, literal sense, rather a crippled, play-pretend, objective version of it. The secondhand excitement of pillaging, control, abundance, lust, contaminating the idea of 'something unthinkable', and the direct image of his one desire. The only one and almost typical yet so different from rest of his kin. - If you can call it that.
In that way, he felt "affection", "charmed", despite the fact that he shouldn't even be able to theoretically appreciate the latter. His vision became incredibly limited and dense and all of his other concentration too. He thought it woukd go on this way, and then the person responsible for all that showed that he has the most greed of them all; ripped him apart and sent him to hell as consequence, at least it wou!d seem that way...
So it hurt him. Just a little bit, but did. Through calm reason and pride and anger, but it did. (The faint, practical, objective version.) And he was a bit startled, thrown off balance, unnaturally stilled.
In reality, he didn't intend to repeat the same mistakes. If there was one human in the world worth thought, it was not someone working with him.
He'd just set himself even harder after his goal, the so important wish - mostly evading other sensations on the way, the ones he would normally be desparate to reach. It is almost a contradiction.
Though, as you may no, plans are to be destroyed. He's grown soft and interested again. ...To greater extent, one hard to place, catch.
It was too curious that it should be him.
But he came to care about the words and body of his new "tool to elevation", and being self.

I realised it - the nasty feeling was disdain at you not caring, not about yourself, not to think of me.
I have also realised the way you didn't spare me was actually because I was the closest to you, also because you thought we understood each other, failed to see in the end neither one of us did... And that I minded.
I realised trying to get myself happy I was the most unhappy. ...In recent times, anyway.
I realised everything and all of it was pain  but also happiness. Is that how you're supposed to do it?
Feel it? Then I had the unattainable all of the time. Due to my rigidness, your change, I've wasted my chance.
Now. I can only come back and act as if nothing happened? And for a while, look after you. Just a tiny while though..!
Better be prepared. And never get blind again.
Farewell, my friend; my knowledge.

They say that those kind of people completely disregard others.
But that's wrong, the disregard is for rules and feelings alone -
if given a list with considerable amount of references describing you, they're the only ones that are gonna read (or anything else) through.
They regard everything, just mostly as an annoyance.
Men are to them somewhere in hate, of difference, and the kind of love called 'envy'.
They are more than anyone conscious of any human.
Though they live completely for themselves, with themselves. Separated.
Maybe because they didn't have the chance.
Continuously repeating their pattern and being shown their place and role.
Can someone break away?
Someone did. After what you could call many lives in one. And also learnef sensitivity; the new kind...
Not as before.
Always considering self. "Self". Self.
- And still the only one with eyes on alert.

Madness, clear madness. Because for so long wanting a single thing - the one truth in life, and that was inevitable; besides "nothing", the end of everything...
Your heart doesn't hurt and your reason doesn't tell you to think, it's just a change.
And change you do.
Not caring anymore. Brutally compensating for yout static lost, you can't keep playing with everyone.
iIt takes but a second: you are, and then you are somewhere else. You do!
Only anger and fear is intensified. Friendship and spirit lost.
Then a wall. Or maybe a call back.
How does it all make sense?
Time, being, nature, affection, sensation, life.
Good bye.
- I'm back. Having a laugh.
Even if... It was the opposite. I need to have you pull through and let's forget whst will be aftetwards.