Saturday, July 16th, 2016 05:52 am
everything_ly: (Default)
[personal profile] everything_ly
To be perfectly honest, he was "enamored". Not in the traditional, literal sense, rather a crippled, play-pretend, objective version of it. The secondhand excitement of pillaging, control, abundance, lust, contaminating the idea of 'something unthinkable', and the direct image of his one desire. The only one and almost typical yet so different from rest of his kin. - If you can call it that.
In that way, he felt "affection", "charmed", despite the fact that he shouldn't even be able to theoretically appreciate the latter. His vision became incredibly limited and dense and all of his other concentration too. He thought it woukd go on this way, and then the person responsible for all that showed that he has the most greed of them all; ripped him apart and sent him to hell as consequence, at least it wou!d seem that way...
So it hurt him. Just a little bit, but did. Through calm reason and pride and anger, but it did. (The faint, practical, objective version.) And he was a bit startled, thrown off balance, unnaturally stilled.
In reality, he didn't intend to repeat the same mistakes. If there was one human in the world worth thought, it was not someone working with him.
He'd just set himself even harder after his goal, the so important wish - mostly evading other sensations on the way, the ones he would normally be desparate to reach. It is almost a contradiction.
Though, as you may no, plans are to be destroyed. He's grown soft and interested again. ...To greater extent, one hard to place, catch.
It was too curious that it should be him.
But he came to care about the words and body of his new "tool to elevation", and being self.
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